Writing this week is really hard. I keep hearing that it will get easier and in some ways things do but at the same time, autism gets harder. School, ugh......that's an entire beast within itself. But at home, we are dealing with a lot too. Not sure people would even believe. But I am scared. As JB gets older and stronger, there are new challenges.
I do not want to even relive this but at the same time, people need to know what we parents go through. My son was playing a game that was inappropriate, I took it away and he kicked me in the face out of anger......I was so shocked by it I had to leave the house. He kicked me, the person who loves and cares for him. How do you cope with that?
I am swollen and have had a headache for three days! But I forgive because I LOVE him and know that he cannot control his anger. That his brain snaps.....I so wish that there was cure. I wish JB could control himself......there are so many things I wish for. I have spent three days crying. Sobbing and asking why. Is that helping me? Absolutely not! I have to let go and forget.....because he has. JB has no clue that he hurt me. None! That's part of the disease......
So, I spent the morning shopping......buying fun stuff that's just for me. Kinda like therapy! Buyer's remorse will hit me but for now, YAY new clothes!
TTFN,
Martha
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