Let them help!

Hey all,

Sorry for the delay.....two weeks since my last post.  Ugh!  I feel like there has been so much going on that I haven't been able to think straight when it comes to writing my blog.  And that's kinda when it hit me......I feel very alone in this autism world, not sure people understand me or even if they ever could.  Over the last 2 weeks, we have had an emergency IEP....2 suspensions due to behaviors.... a runner (yes, JB ran away from school 3 times)....and a sick JB.  All stories I could share but I want to focus on me and that feeling of ALONE!!!!!

Definition of alone: according to Google, "having no one else present, on one's own"

Why is it that I let that definition consume me?  Honestly, it does.  Do I do it to myself? I think so....I really think it's a pity party for me.  I am realizing that I need to put my big girl pants on because the only person who can change that feeling is me.  In the last 2 or 3 weeks, I have opened my eyes to the kindness and love that others have to offer, want to offer.....I want to be open to it!!!!

A friend, and colleague, said to me that my blog helps her feel closer to me........girl, thank you for that! A friend, also a colleague, offered advice and made sure to make time for me.  A friend, and colleague, shared ideas with me.  A friend often sends me the funniest images and always tells me how much she loves and cares about me.  Another friend, will just send me "xoxo's" because she knows it's needed!  How in the world is that ALONE??????  It's not!  So why????  Why do I let myself feel alone?

I guess the last thing I want to do is burden people with my problems.  I do not want to bring anyone down.  What's honestly funny about this is that I think most people feel this way or think this way.  But friends are friends no matter the problem.  We support and share with each other.  We try to understand each other.  For the first time in my 5 years with autism, I feel different.  I feel like I am learning to, well, let others.....I know that is weird but in this time, I am finally opening up.  I am finally letting others help me, listen to me.  Not because I want them to but because I understand that they WANT to.  THAT is a gift to a parent, and a gift to JB really.  Why?  Because I am being better to me and in being better to me, I am being better to my JB!!!

Autism is a tough life.  But taking it on with friends.....we all got this!

TTFN

Martha