The true meaning of normal.......

     Hi all,

     Today, I write really for my daughter.  A young lady who is struggling.  She has really been moody.  I mean, really MOODY.  She is ten and I am more than sure she is going through a lot of changes in many ways.  But recently, I have noticed more aggression than anything towards her brother.  Towards Autism. 

       AP screams at JB a lot anymore.  Especially when she is frustrated.   Recently, I witnessed  AP kicking JB after a game of hide-and-seek.  It was not gentle play.  At first, I was really mad but then my thoughts turned to why.

     When confronted, AP put on a sad face and tried to deny her actions.  So I asked her, "Do you want to talk about Autism?"  AP broke down and sobbed....she begged me not to ask her that question. The following interaction is true.....

"Mom, how can you ask me that?"

"Because I know it's not easy!  You have to get your feelings out!"

"I hate you!"

"You don't mean that!"

"I just want JB to be normal.  Like me!"

"Girl, what really is normal?"

Dr. Seuss said, "Why be normal, when you were born to stand out!"  

Maya Angelou said, "If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be." 

     Things are not everyday normal in the Autism world.  But really, what is normal?  What we consider normal for ourselves could be considered completely abnormal to somebody else and vice versa.  For example: I am a huge Star Wars geek, I collect rock t-shirts, Minion trinkets, and Star Wars shirts.  I absolutely love anything Disney.  I have a collection of goodies by my desk area that make me look like a HUGE kid.  I love to sing songs but I make up my own words....Is that normal?????  Maybe, maybe not.  But it does make me....ME!  And I think I am pretty geeky awesome!  HA! HA!

     I guess that's just it. AP has to find a sense of normal that works for her.  She has to learn to accept and then deal with Autism in a way that is healthy and good for her.  We all have things in life we have to learn to handle but at 10, an Autistic brother is a lot.....of course, as her parent I need to help guide her, which we moms just seem to do automatically.....because we are moms and it's some built-in instinct thing.

    I have also challenged AP to write.  To write about what she thinks is normal and to write about what she finds great about her brother.  We, then, will have a meeting.....just to talk and to see where her ideas lead us.  "But it's more homework, mom!"  Yep, she's kinda right.  But it's a good start that will hopefully lead to good discussions!

TTFN

Martha