A Day Without Autism

SO......

My daughter is turning 10 this week.  It's incredibly shocking to me because I wonder where the time went.  And I also can't believe that I am old enough to have a 10 year old but my wrinkles and grey hair say differently!

This year, my daughter asked for something that I found gut wrenching.....she asked me for a day without autism.  

A day without Autism!!!

Unfortunately there is no day without autism.  It's always there....it always will be!  But what I can offer her is time away.  Sometimes everyone needs that and I so get it.  Sometimes you need to separate yourself for sanity's sake.  You see, autism happens to the entire family and not just the child who has it.  

My daughter's request is a huge, telling sign that she needs space and attention and a break.  I am sure she thinks that JB gets all the attention and essentially he does.  But she doesn't see it as it is.  He cannot entirely care for himself, his sensory issues have me feeding him daily, his behaviors are challenging, his let down after a behavior is heartbreaking......but my daughter????? She sees time spent with JB not what I HAVE to do....so I try really hard to attend to her with a hug or high five or a special dessert or a simple word of encouragement.  It seems like it's never enough......

SO..... 

I will honor her request with a day off from school, a movie, and a special lunch.  The kick in the gut....wait for it...... she'll be with her dad, not me.  She asked for that.  Kinda hurts but also I can see where she may want to separate herself completely from Autism....and I am a piece of Autism because JB is all about his mama!  He prefers me....all of the time!  That's hard in so many ways! Oh so hard....another story, another time! 

Happy Birthday to my dear sweet angel who so deserves the gift of time that is all about her....stress free!

TTFN

Martha