Dear Me...

Hi all,

This post for me is a little different.  I want to share a letter that I wrote to myself on a pretty difficult day with Autism.   JB was definitely overwhelmed or overstimulated or simply just not in control of his anger.  The holidays are tough in many ways....for JB it takes a bit for him to process what is going on.  Winter break brought many changes to someone who depends so much on a routine.  Anyway, after a bout with behaviors, JB fell asleep and during that time I wrote the following letter to myself as a reminder and a way to pick myself up.  Here goes:

Dear Me,

     You are okay, absolutely okay!  I know that sometimes Autism can be so very hard and draining.  I know you put on a good front, that maybe no one would ever know how you are feeling inside.  I know that you don't always understand what causes JB to act the way he does or why Autism snaps the way it does!  I know there are days you wish you had answers and yet, there aren't any.  

    Some days are very hard.  Some days are as easy as pie.  Autism is your roller coaster ride.  Sometimes you want to be on that ride and sometimes, well, you don't.  It's an emotional journey and the hurt sometimes really hurts.  But, you can't choose to dwell on that.  

   So right now I am taking a chance on you.  To tell you that you are okay.  And even when you aren't, it's okay!  You deserve a moment, to take a breath before pushing forward.  And maybe more than that, you deserve to CHOOSE YOU!!!!!

   This year, I challenge you to be aware of you and to take care of you.  To take more than just one breath....and to let yourself be okay with that because a better you is better for everyone!  It won't be easy because you are you....But in knowing you,  I also know that you are always up for a challenge.  

    Please know that you will still have days...good days, bad days and that is okay!  All I am asking of you is to take some time just so you can regroup!  That I think you can do!

                                                                                                        With love,
                                                                                                                  Me

I have read this letter several times since I wrote it.  I keep thinking about it.  So often, I am last on my own list and when I get a rare moment I don't have any energy.  I say "Oh well!" and I just let that be the way it is!  NO MORE!!!  I gotta figure it out because someway, somehow I do need to start choosing me a little more often!  Maybe I won't be alone in taking on this challenge.....stay strong everyone!

TTFN and Happy New Year
Martha